Friday, August 21, 2009

Cry Me A River and the Wisdom of Women

I once told a female friend of mine about how me and my male friends would often get together and discuss things such as emotions, etc. She responded, I would love to be a fly on the wall when men talk about emotions. I have always wondered about that statement, because I consider myself a guy with a good good handle on my emotions and I see nothing special about the attempt to master them.

For example, when I am afraid I often can pyche myself into using that fear to plot out the most logical course of action. When I am angry I only explode after I have thought out and planned to lose it so that it can be known that my pushover persona is only an act. When I am happy, there isn't much else there except being happy and I can be happy even in my lowest moments because that is the way I was raised.

About the only thing that bothers me so to speak is when I am around the type of people who want to Cry Me a River. That is not to say that I am not sympathetic to people's problems and situations. I just don't have a lot of patience for peoples' problems without the need to discuss solutions. I learned a long time ago that I could choose between crying about what is wrong or not working out correctly in life, or I could spend my time developing solutions and working through those solutions. I am a firm believer that if I try to search for a solution I will either find one, or I will fail. Yet, in either case at least I tried and I would rather live with the knowledge that I tried and failed rather, rather than the knowledge that I never tried. I beleive that I can make my own destiny, but that requires action on my part.

The Practical Application

Not long ago a collegue was going on with me about his problems. He is having a hard time finding a job, money, and issues with traning in martial arts. Many times before this conversation he basically went through the same spill. He has a wife and parents to support, he doesn't have time to train in maritial arts, he doesn't have the money for it, etc. After a while I got tired of hearing it, because I am solution orientated. I once told him that what he needed to do was drop the martial arts training, because it costs money, and work on finding a solution to his money problem. Taking care of his family is NUMBER one priority, and everything is further down the list. He is blessed to even have a wife to stand with him through the tough times, because some guys don't get that. At a certain point, my solution was to distance myself from him.

Maybe my solutions are harsh, but that is the way I live my life. When I have a problem I vent about it once or twice, and then I start working on solutions. I also don't like people to know about my current personal problems preferring that people see me at my best. Maybe it is also because I feel most alive when I am working on solutions rather than letting my problems get me down. I also learned to channel my fear and my anger into constructive areas of my life.

So that is me, and I understand that not everyone is able to do that. Some people define themselves simply by focusing on their own sorrows, and hurt in life and never moving past them. There are people who can't deal with the fact that life is harsh and full of its dissappointments and hardships. There are some people who can't see the forest from the trees to realize that you either get busy living or you get busy dying. to quote the Shawshank Redemption. Not everyone can understand that sometimes the best of our humanity can shine through in the darkest of hours and that is when we really find out what we are made of.



I was the same way until a woman named Mesha, that I once loved ,told me that I needed to let the past be the past and concern myself with solutions. She saw how I kept going back over and over with a situation that had happened years earlier, and how it was eating at me. She boldy told me to stop cyring a river, because EVERYONE has problems. What I needed to do was get off my soap box and deal with the issue until its finality, and move on. Looking back, I am so glad I learned that from her. Her advice has been a shining light to me, and I never got a chance to thank her for teaching me that life lesson.

Another example of this. A friend of mine is working a job that is causing him so much stress and pain. He has told me how his wife keeps telling him that she wants a healthy husband who comes home in joy, not one who is tired and has now sign of life in him. Not long ago when another event took place, his wife told him in bold words.

תקום, תנעול את הדלת, ולך לביתה

Translated that means, Get up, lock the door (to your office), and go home. I told my friend that it is good that he has a woman that is with him on that, and wants him in a healthy mindset for their family life. To have a woman who has your back like that is something else, and almost nothing in the world can compare to that feeling.

So to all the women who read this blog and you see that man that is special to you dealing the hardships of his life. Go to him one day and lift up his chin and tell him, Hey you are strong enough to beat this thing. And even if you can't I am here for you. So get up and get back out their soldier and win that war. Do this for the sake of your role in the lives of men, because the wisdom of a woman can be something else.
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Friday, August 14, 2009

Sorry I haven't posted much

I have no excuse except for the fact that I am soaking up all the things that are going on right now, and I am trying to get organized at my apartment. Living in Jerusalem has a different tone to it, so my blogging may be a bit erratic as I will more than likely be more calculating in my videos and writing concerning topics. So here are some more updates in my life.

US Visit

So it is official I will not be visiting the US next month. Yet, I feel good about not going for some reason. At first I thought I needed to visit the US for some reason, but now that the opportunity to do so is no longer avaible I feel good, and I don't know exactly why. So when it comes to the idea of visiting the US next month, Dr. McCoy from Star Trek said it best......



The Chronicles of Ehav Ever: The Documentary

So as I mentioned before I am working on a documentary that I want to submit to the Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival next year. In a sense it will be a redux of my blog and my videos on YouTube, but will a lot more about me and how I am affected by living in Israel and how I affect others around me. I think that it will be safe to say that there hasn't been anything like this yet, and I hope to learn a lot about myself in the process. At the moment I am scouting out locations for where I am going to film. I plan on doing some really scenic and organic places since I love nature.


I have a defined outline for the video, and I have at least 3 more people to interview. One next week, and another maybe the week after. So we will see what happens.

The News

A while back I was asked to speak at a memorial for Yair Stern, and there was a video of it on Israeli National News. I sometimes don't like how I sound in interviews so I kind of kept from putting it on my blog, but in any case here it is.



I have to admit that there are so many things that I need to blog about, and I will because I must. I must because I feel like this next year I need to make a number of strides for the sake of history. Not just mine, but that I have story that needs to be told.

A Month of Positive Solutions Update

So I have been working out the concepts of the solutions that I will be proposing for the upcoming Month of Positive solutions. I have the first video pretty much down pat, so now I need to work on the Audio I have spent some time on another blog posting some of the ideas I have and now I must put that into video format.

So that is the short summary of what is up for now. By the way the below video has nothing to do with this post, but I love how creative this video is.


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Saturday, August 8, 2009

In Jerusalem, Videos, and Photos Coming Soon

So as I said in the last post I am in Jerusalem. Talk about a lot of blood, sweat, and tears in moving and I mean all three literally. It was a little hard to say goodbye to Maale Adummim after living there for 2 years, but in comparison to moving to the holiest city in the Jewish world there is no comparison, for me, to living in Jerusalem. I feel so central to everyting that I need in my life right now, and I am at a better arm's length to the things that I want to do for this next year.

Today marked the second Shabbat (Sabbath) I have spent actually in Jerusalem. The last time I spent a Shabbat in Jerusalem was back in 2004. It is ironic that it was spent in the same neighborhood where I now live called Katamon. Back then it was with a late friend of mine who passed away in 2005 and now it is with new friends. I love the fact that this place lends itself to so many possibilities, and I want to make the most of those possibilities during my time of more relaxed working.

This will I still have a lot of unpacking to do, and I recently had a situation that came up that has changed some of the plans I had for this year, but that is life and that is okay. I did plan on visiting the US for month in Sept. but the method I was going to use to do this has dried up so I won't doing that and maybe it was for the best. Everytime I have moved away from a place, going back to visit it always has reinforced why I left in the first place. Then I go through the desire to return back to where I was currently living. So going to the US may have simply reninforced why I left and only made me want to hurry up and get back to Israel. It is as I have written before that I feel I have lived more in the last two years (here in Israel) than I have most of my life.

There may be other issues at play that may have it be better that I don't visit the US, so maybe that is fate on some level. I will admit that one of the reasons that I wanted to visit was to see a small group of people that I connect with on the net, but maybe this was not as important that I felt it was at one time. So sa la vi. I don't claim to believe the worst when something doesn't work out, but sometimes there could be a method to the madness. Maybe it was simply a matter of Jedi Politics ala Clerks.


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Monday, August 3, 2009

I'm Back.....Again

I have been gone a while from blogging because I have been dealing with moving again. Last week I made the big move from Maale Adummim to Jerusalem. So the Chronicles will continue this week, as I get more settled. Until then enjoy this.......again.


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