Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Complexity of HER – Part 2

Sorry it took a little while to get part 2 out, but I wanted to get some videos out on YouTube. If you are new to my written blog, or you have not yet viewed part 1 of this story I suggest that you go back and read Part 1 before you read this post. So now that you are up to speed, back to the story. The below song goes well with this post about HER.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

So everything was going well with this date, and I couldn’t believe it and just as my guard was going down, she said something that changed everything. She said, “There is one thing that you have to know. I am going to be leaving Israel and going back to South Africa in 4 weeks. I have been here for four years and I came kind of on a whim and I feel like it is time for me to go back home."

I was somewhat floored by this, and there was only one word in the English lexicon that fully expresses what went through my mind. What was that word you ask? DAWWWWWWWWWWMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Why does this have to happen now? She could be the one, and now she is leaving. Why does my life have to always lead to these complex issues?

How could this be, the perfect woman is sitting right in front of me and she is leaving in 4 weeks. She has been in Israel for four years and all this time I never met her, and now she is leaving? What kind of cruel joke is this? I began to wonder why I even believed from the start that this could possibly go somewhere. My fatalist nature took over and I began to have all kinds of thoughts about the situation. I almost felt like paying for both our meals, packing it up, and going back home right then and there. Yet, something about HER made me simply say, you know according to Halakhah (Jewish religious law) once you have moved to Israel you are not supposed to leave. That is according to the Rambam (Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon). I said it in a joking manner, even though I was being quite serious.

Somehow the conversation got back to martial arts and after our breakfast date we went to the park and I showed her a few moves. It was so interesting that she knew some moves herself, and she was intense. She was also very strong and cunning when it came to martial arts. All I could think was, be still my heart. (Writer’s note: I have always had a thing for tough women.) As the time drew near for both of us to part ways to start preparing for the Shabbat (Sabbath) I offered to take her home, and we agreed to see each other again after Shabbat
Why I am Doing This Again?

Our plans for after Shabbat didn’t go through because she forgot that she had agreed to meet with her girlfriends. I was a bit afraid that this was her way of feigning interest, or at least that is what the paranoid part of me said. Yet, we rescheduled and went out another night and again the déjà vu element kept coming up again and again. I wanted to sit there all night and learn about her for she was a mysterious type.The big issue here is why I am going through this again?

Yet, my thoughts kept going back to the fact that she would be leaving. I considered that maybe I could somehow convince her to stay in true movie fashion. Perhaps if I kept up the pressure she would cave and give up this foolish move back to South Africa. What I wanted to know was what was the draw to return to a place like South Africa? As much as I wanted to answer her this vital question I never did. Maybe the better question was, why am I still seeing her? She had made her decision to go back to South Africa. Why continue down a path that was going to lead to one or both of being hurt?

I have complete control over my emotions, or so I thought. I can always make sure to keep my guard up and simply let the lead to its logical conclusion. Yet, what point would that serve, to simply keeping her, start caring for, only to lose her. Then I would be left with the what ifs of life, with the memories of how close I was to bliss.

The Slow Waltz

After the date I walked her home, and I found it so hard to part company with her. Every time we said goodbye some new conversation would start, and even though the Jerusalem night was chilly her presence was warming to me. I found myself hoping that the night would last longer, and that maybe I should just call in sick.

I wanted to try to get her to see that she didn't need to go back to South Africa. I could help her find whatever it was that was missing. I could be the one that could help her find her place in this Topsy Turvy world call the Middle East. Together we could do wonders, and I know in my heart she also saw the possibilities. Yet I felt like there was something she was running away from. There was somthing that she was afraid of. If only I knew what it was, but alas she was not willing to tell me.

I finally left on a high note making her laugh with my advances as to how “pleasing to the eyes and the soul” she was, after which I ran down the street rejoicing that I had made her smile. She was the jewel that lit up the night sky and as I drove home to Maale Adummim I saw the moon and the stars in a new way. Yet, she was leaving in about 3 more weeks, and I could not escape the hurt that was coming soon on the horizon. My logical senses were telling me that this wouldn't end well at all.

Part 3 the finale.


Anonymous said...

Great entry. Your honesty and courage to share the inner most thoughts of a man in love is refreshing. Your story made me smile and laugh as I anticipated what would happen next.

Also, the Brian Mcknight song is one of my favorites. I had not listened to it in years, so it conjured up great memories for me and being in love.

I will wait patiently to read the next blog entry.

Peace -

Ehav Ever said...

Hello Farababanta,

Thanks for your comment. As I mentioned before in my email, I find that the more I write and film my experiences the stronger I become as a person.

Yeah, that Brian McKnight song was always my favorite of his. It just has some deep but simply concepts involved in it. I love the imagery.

Part 3 may take a little longer, but I will have it up soon.