Saturday, December 12, 2009

My Blog - The Red Headed Step Child

To my blog, I have to apologize. I haven't spent as much time on you as I probably should. I have been spending my time with another love of mine, the film that I have been going on about. I'm sorry blog, but I had to do a lot of work to prepare for the showing of the film. The showing went well and I got a lot of good comments. Now I have to do some editing and a little bit of refilming. I really hope that I get accepted to the Mixed Roots Film Festival. Well, that is one story.

Next up, the season of the haters has begun in full swing. What it is that I get a number of haters, mostly on YouTube who seem to have two things in common.
  1. They all seem to have the same calender which they use to determine the best time for their hate mail.
  2. They all seem to work off the same script.
The first one I got was one of a person claiming to be Muslim trying to convince me to convert to Islam. It is funny how all my friends who are from Islamic families or from the Middle East are easy to get along with. These types of Muslims I get along with very well and we respect each others similarities and differences. Yet, every once and a while recent, or somewhat recent converts to Islam think that they can convince me of their religious points of view.

The next hater claimed to be a member of the fraternity I used to be a part of Phi Beta Sigma. This person sent an email with all kind of weird claims in it, not understanding the reasons why I left. In fact, this person personified some of the reasons I did leave and ended with threats against my person. Always comical and always something that seems to further press the point that sometimes YouTube can be the nexus of weirdness. lol Only one way to deal with haters.



In any case, back to my blog. I haven't felt like anything really warrented me posted to you of late. I have so much going on, but I hate to drone on to you with mundane things. At the same time there are some things of a political nature I could post on you, but sometimes I really hate politics. I prefer for the real the world to just kick in and eject the politics from life. This is what I think abot politics.



Okay, it is funny to me.

Hey My Blog, I did take recent photos that I uploaded to FaceBook......Whoops My Blog you weren't supposed to know about that FaceBook thing. Trust me, FaceBook means nothing to me. I only did it because EVERYONE kept bugging me about not being on FB. Please understand My Blog it wasn't anything personal. I do plan on getting back to you on some things that I want to write about. I promise.........because without you the Chronicles could not continue.
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Friday, November 27, 2009

The Drive

A few weeks ago something happened in my life. An awakening of sorts. I can't quite explain it, but I started to feel a deeper pride in being Israeli and being the type of Israeli that I am. It may have been when I viewed the completed first revision of my documentary, and I remembered the feeling I had back in 2006 when I completed the book that I was working on. The book still sits on my desk since I vowed to a family member that I would never publish it because of some sensative family issues crucial to the story.

Ever since this awakening a few weeks ago, I have been wanting to do more. That more can simply be described as longing and working towards living my life more and more by the logic of Yisrael that we call Torath Mosheh. There are many things that I had said I wanted to do, but I was to lazy to act upon them. There are things that I did in spurts, but something about finishing my documentary and editing it brought me back to an understanding on how important action is as compared to simply talking about what should be done.

Maybe part of the awakening was that I was letting other parts of my life overshadow my need to be logical. I enjoy so much the difference in a day when I know that I am being the best me that I can be, and how throwing away false logic can make all the difference in taking hold of destiny. That word, destiny, comes up a lot in my documentary and I can say that I get this from the influence my grandmother had on me. She made me believe that I had some grand destiny that I had to live up to. That was not the kind of thing I wanted to hear as a kid, but that is all she would talk about. When she passed away I realized that I had to do something with my life, and no matter what the cost I had to attempt to live up to all of my potential.

This leads to the other day I met with a guy who is going to do some drawings for me. At the outset he told me about a speaking engagement he had just done. He then went into his story. In order to be a Torah based Jew he gave up EVERYTHING. He lost his wife, his kids, his jobs, and a connection to his family. His wife divorced him, his kids told him they didn't want to see him, and he was going to burn in hell, and he was fired from his job. All because he sought out truth, and had a real desire to live by truth. His story really inspired me, and did something to me. I can relate to having to walk your own path to seek out truth, although I have never had it happen to the extreme level he had.


So I found myself this last week feeling so alive, and seeking to do more with my life. I found myself putting up Mezuzoth in places that I had been procrastinating to put them. I found myself doing Mitzwoth (Torah responsibilities) that I had shrugged off for some time. I also found myself starting to figure out ways to stand up for the right things. I love where I can go with my life if I continue with this drive and focus. There is something to be said about change and destiny, but I always find that Dune says it better than I can.


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Saturday, November 21, 2009

C.O.N.traversy

Ever since I was kid I was one of the those people who was sometimes the center of contraversy. That is what it means to stand between many different worlds. It is one the main points of the documentary I have been working. After some time I have gotten used to it, because the older I get the less I care about pleasing peoples' sensabilities. I am not the type of person who goes out looking for such things, and I don't believe in throwing my views in the faces of others. I simply believe in putting them out there, and standing on the ground that I am supposed to stand on.

I can tell you have seen some way out there stuff in my day. I have also seen a number of concepts and things that I don't agree with, but I don't feel compelled for the most part to comment on them or get into debates with people on them. The same freedom I have to be is the same freedom everyone else has. If there is anything that I just down right have a problem with, I simply approach on my ground i.e. this blog or on my YouTube videos.

Yet, with all of this I often get people who for some reason feel the need to approach me in ways that are quite laughable. Not only laughable, but remind of elementary school and he way kids pick on other kids. In the end, for me, such things are futile since a certain age most rational adults get past this stage and move on to more adult things. Yet, this is not the case with some.

One of the things I had to personally learn was to not waste so much time with these types of people. Some of them need conflict to, I guess, make their day go smoothly. I have found that there are people who need conflict in order for their lives to have meaning, and there are certain things that feed these people like a good lentil stew. So I made a decision that certain types of arguements I would simply ignore, others I would give a short time frame, and others I would dive right into it but on my own ground.

This comes up every once and a while, because I know that some of the people I am talking also view my blog. So I mean to say that I am still here, and things get better and better for me. More to come from the Chronicles soon.
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Friday, November 13, 2009

Quick Update

I am taking a bit of a break from blogging and vlogging to finish up the documentary so the posts will be a bit sparse. At the moment I am about 90% done with the film, and I plan on having a showing for it on December 3rd, 2009 in Jerusalem. That is a pre-showing to get people's reaction and determine what changes I should make before I send it to the Mixed Roots Festival.

That is all for the moment, but as soon as I finish there will be some fresh updates. Stay tuned.
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Friday, November 6, 2009

A Country For Old Men

So I had a surge of documentary energy this past week, and I put together some good material. The next phase that I need to do is about my childhood in Kansas City. Specifically when I lived on 73rd and Norton, which for so many years has drawn a range of emotions. When my mother and I lived there I felt like I was really a part of something. It was the only place I felt was home. It was a closed off community, not by design but by circumstance. It was the type of neighborhood that did not have through street traffic, but instead only two streets led in and out of it, and not in a straight line. This in a sense made the neighborhood a secure safe haven for those of us who lived there.


For me, it was also this neighborhood design that created a sense of exclusivity since it gave me the feeling that our neighborhood was the entire world. On one side of the neighborhood were the woods that were a part of a huge park, Swope Park, further inclosing the neighborhood from outsiders. I remember thinking that a certain street that led outside of our neighorhood led to a completely different world, and traveling beyond it was like leaving the planet.

Every kind of life cycle event affected everyone in the neigborhood and in the summer there were community barbecues at least once or twice a month. One of the things I enjoyed was to listen to the older men talk. I can't quite figure out why, but hearing old men talk about life and philosophy was such a joy to me. Maybe, because of the fact that my father had passed away when I was three, I saw in these conversations what I wished I had at home. I especially loved to see older men joke around with each other and the jokes that their wives never understood. I enjoyed their zeal for life, and their overly opinionated ferver for what they felt was right. I marveled at what things could be gleaned from the age group of 40 and above. My favorites were those old me that were the modest and reserved types. Yet, I also liked the talkative and joking type of old men that would come up with wacky nick names for us kids. I remember how even with how close the neighborhood was there were at least 2 families that did not have their stuff together, but you dealt with them on their terms and life went on.

Love Lost

I loved that neighborhood so much, and cherished every memory so much that when my mother told me we were moving I felt my heart shatter into 1 million peices. I hated the idea of leaving so badly that I even tried to sabatoge the move. We moved into a neighborhood that had nothing that I could relate to. No community, no friends of value, no childhood games, no barbecues, and no old men to listen to. For a time I let myself slip into the wrong crowd because there was nothing else, and I nearly fell completely away from my family logic. I secretly planned for years after we moved to somehow move back to 73rd and Norton and regain what I had lost. If not 73rd and Norton there had to be some place like it that met the exact same criteria.

I was fanatic in this and when my got my driver's license the first thing I did was to drive to 73rd and Norton to try and find a peice of myself that was missing. Yet, when I got there what I found was that the neighborhood I grew up in was no longer there. The place had become run down, and destitute. The house we once lived in was in ruins, and there were no longer any old men to listen to. I felt so devasted that the only reality I knew was no longer in existance. I felt for many years after this that I had to find this sense I had on 73rd and Norton again. Every place I ever traveled to after that time never met all criteria and there were no old men to learn from and listen to.

College

In college I worked in a lab with a math professor and a former commander in the Navy, and their conversations reminded me of my childhood. They were Dr. Freddie Frazier and Commander Kelley. Throughout the course of my working in that lab I enjoyed hearing the conversations between Dr. Frazier and Commander Kelley and I was reminded so much of the past. Yet, one summer, the conversation stopped when Commander Kelley died of a heart attack while he was cutting his grass. When Commander Kelley passed away things just weren't the same, and he and Dr. Frazier were such good friends and seeing that empty place where Commander Kelley used to sit was hard since I began to realize that I was living in a country without old men. I remember how about a week or so before Commander Kelley passed away he gave his 10 year predictions of where he believed that all of the students who worked in the lab would be. I remember his prediciation for me that I would be completely dedicated to my work. At the time I felt it to be kind of an empty predication since I wanted more from life, even thought I knew on some level he was correct. After that point I never found that kind of feeling again, and maybe this was why for many years I was lost.

A Country For Old Men

That was until I moved to Israel and I found a country of old men. At every turn here I find myself reminded of my life on 73rd and Norton. I find myself hearing, either on the bus, or sitting in the resturants that I am surrounded by the type of conversations that I remember as a kid. I love the things I hear old men talking about here, and it brings such joy to my heart when I encounter the conversations of old men.



Just last night I was waiting at the bus stop near a military base close to Latrun to return home to Jerusalem. There was an older man maybe in his 50's at the stop and he asked me a few questions about the bus that he had been waiting on. He said he had been waiting for an hour and it was already dark. At that moment another older man, also in his 50's, and immediately these old friends began to talk and laugh together. The second old man said he was headed to Jerusalem and he could give his friend a ride. He looked in my direction and asked his friend if there was anyone else that he knew at the stop. He looked at me with an expectation of Why are you not asking me for a ride young man? I asked him, if I could get a ride to Jerusalem and he said, What are you talking about I was waiting for you to hurry up and come along with us. Come on young man the car doesn't mind. Get in.

I made a few of my own jokes on the way back to the car, and they laughed. On the way from Latrun to Jerusalem I listened to them talk and a smile came across my face. The conversations they had reminded me so much of my childhood on 73rd and Norton. How they spoke reminded me of exactly how the old men in my past spoke, with such passion and 100% clarity and confidence in what they spoke about. They talked about a wedding of a young man and woman that they both attended. They spoke about how good the young couple was and how beautiful the wedding was, and how it was such a blessing for two such young people to get married and building a life together. They spoke in detail on how the wedding brought such joy to their hearts. They later spoke about how it is a mistake in Israel that Arabic is no longer a part of the formal education in the schools. They both were fluent in Arabic, being that they were Moroccan Jews and I caught a few phrases in Arabic here and there.



The driver dropped me off in Givat Shaul near the Jerusalem bus station. I made them laugh a bit with some of my wit before I jumped out and I wished them a Shabbat Shalom (good Sabbath). Then they sped off on their way into the Jerusalem night. I just remembered that just the other day I was at a hardware store and the owner struck up a conversation with me. He enjoyed me so much he invited me to come to his some at any time and we could have coffee together.

This is my experience in the Middle East and it is why I say that I am home, and I would never return to live in America or anywhere outside of Israel. Though 73rd and Norton faded away, the concept is still etched into my heart, and one day in the future I will be one of those old men in my country telling my own stories of my passion for life. Yet, maybe that is exactly where I am right now thus this blog and everything that comes from it.

This is my life and I love it so much for these are the Chronicles of Ehav Ever.


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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Peace In the Middle East

In this video I discuss the roots for the modern conflict here in the Middle East, as well as what it will take to attain peace in the Middle East.



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Friday, October 23, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. and Documentary update

So I have one more main video to do for A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.) That is the video about Middle East Peace. I have completed the slides for it and I will work on the audio after the Shabbat (Sabbath). I think it will be really interesting, and I am hoping that it will have meaning. More on this next week when I put the video up.

The Documentary

So the documentary I have been working on is taking shape. I have done what I consider to be a final outline and I now have a better idea of how to put it together. My goal is to complete it by the middle of December so I can work on refining it and then send it to America in January. I then just have to figure out how I plan on trying to travel to LA if it gets accepted to the Mixed Roots Film Festival.

To Tweet or not to Tweet

I have been considering getting a twitter account. As of yet, I haven't figured out the point of it, so I am a bit hesitant. I just don't like the idea of spending so much time on 4 different sites putting in the same information. I have this blog, I have YouTube and I have Facebook. I am not big into FaceBook, but I have done some things on it recently. The blog and YouTube are my main bread and butter, in the non-financial way, but could twitter maybe help the stats on the YouTube videos? That is the question. Do I then have to go in and set up another friends network. Who knows. I will put off the decision for a bit of time.

Until then the Chronicles wil continue........



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Thursday, October 22, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Commentary on Erasing Racism From Jewish Communities

Continueing with my focus of A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.). This is the commentary for the video called Erasing Racism From Jewish Communities. If you haven't already viewed that video you should do so first.

Erasing Racism From Jewish Communities

In this video I explore in more detail why Jews and israelis need to return to our own form of logic and reject the Western/Modern concept of race and all racist termonoloty and concepts.

I also explore the origins of the word Goy and Goyyim and how it relates to the concept of Avodah Zara that I brought up in the previous video.



The sources debunking the curse of Ham can be found here.

The Other Black Meat


The Favorite verse of Racists

Children of Hham: Kush, Mitzrayim, Put and Kenaan

Rabbi David Einhorn's Response to "A Biblical View of Slavery"

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Monday, October 19, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Erasing Racism from Jewish Communities

This is video #3 for A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.) and there will DEFINATELY need to be a commentary on this once since it deals with Erasing Racism from ALL Jewish communities.


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Thursday, October 15, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Teimani from afar (תימני מרחוק)

Another filler until the next solution is ready. This one pretty much explains itself. If not, let me know.


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Monday, October 12, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. My Idea of Beauty Revisited

So it is still A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.) but I decided to take a commercial break while I work on the third solution.

Every once and while I like to revisit the idea of how I define beauty amongst the female species. It is often hard to put int words what I find beautiful so I often prefer to give visual examples. I find it necessary to do so now, with the current trend of media that comes out of the west and makes beauty out to be one thing. Since I don't believe in the status quo here is my example of what I find beautiful about women. If you have kept up with my videos you have seen these photos before, but here is a new way of looking at it.


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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Strengthening Black Men Through Nationalism

As you know it is A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.) and it is now time for the second topic and that is Strengthening Black Men Through Nationalism. This is my take on how black men, especially those in America, can strenthen themselves through some basic elements of Nationalism. If you click on the video and go directly into YouTube the resources in the video are on the side description section.



More than likely there will be a commentary to explain more details on this video.
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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

New Abir Martial Arts Video

Just decided to take a quick break in the videos for a Month of Positive Solutions. I just found out I am in another video on YouTube for the martial art I train in called Abir Hebrew Warrior Arts. Check it out.



A Month of Positive Solutions continues.
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Sunday, October 4, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. Commentary on Defending Black Women

It is October 2009 and that means it is A Month of Positive Solutions (A.M.O.P.S.). This is the commentary on the first video on Defending the Honor of Black Women. This video provides more details on the things I dicussed in the first video.


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Thursday, October 1, 2009

A.M.O.P.S. - Solutions #1 Defending the Honor of Black Women

So it is 2:15 a.m. October 1st, 2009 and this is the first day of A Month of Positive Solutions (MOPS). This video #1 of the solutions to the problems I listed in the introduction video. That is Defneding the Honor of Black Women. In this video I give some of the solutions I have about dealing with stereotyping of Black Women by western media and how this can be dealt with. Thes represent my personal beliefs in terms of how to deal with the problem. They are not the end all of defeating racism in western media but they may be a start in actually working out solutions vs. continous discussion about the problems. Feel free to leave feedback, because I don't claim to hold the solutions. I have 1 or 2 commentary videos that I will put up in the next few days. Let me know your thoughts, comments, etc.



For more information about the issues click on the video to watch it from YouTube. I have a list of sources of the stereotypes that are play.
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Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Month of Positive Solutions Ad

To all an easy fast this Yom Kippur. If I have wronged anyone in my words and posts on this blog I apologize in advance.


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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Mazal of Being Me

As I have written about before on my blog, one of the things I love about being here in Israel is how things just seem to always work out for me. There are times where I think I have a problem, but something about my attitude and being in my homeland combined give me the strength to deal with all the realities I face. It may be like the old Jewish saying goes, that when a Jew lives outside of the land of Israel our prayers and our blessings really don't belong to us, as a nation. They belong to the nation we are situated in. That may be why Rabbi Mosheh ben Maimaon (Rambam) wrote in his monumental work the Mishnah Torah that it is forbidden for a Jew to leave the land of Israel and settle permantly in another land. That is outside of a faimine, or some pretty major distress.

משנה תורה - הלכות מלכים ומלחמות פרק ה

יא אסור לצאת מארץ ישראל לחוצה לארץ לעולם--אלא ללמוד תורה, או לישא אישה, או להציל מיד הגויים, ויחזור לארץ; וכן יוצא הוא לסחורה. אבל לשכון בחוצה לארץ, אסור--אלא אם כן חזק שם הרעב

(Translation - Mishnah Torah, Laws of Kings and Wars Chapter 5)
11) It is forbidden [for an Jew] to leave the land of Israel to the lands of the world. Unless to learn Torah, to marry a wife, to deliver oneselves from enemy nations, and to return to the Land [of Israel]; it is permitted to do business. But to dwell outside of the Land [of Israel] it is forbidden. Unless there is strong faimaine....

There is further a concept that every nation has been given by Hashem (G-d) a divine entity, an angel if you will, to receive the prayers of that nation. The concept goes on to state that in Israel we don't have an angel, we have Hashem. Thus, when a Jew prays in another nation his/her prays are counted with that nation. Yet, when we are in our own nation, we receive so much more since we are on our home soil. I know both feelings, and after I moved to Israel I completely understood the feeling of both concepts. It is because of how I feel about this that I also wish the same for other dispersed peoples such as African Americans, Kurds, Armenians, the Amazigh (berbers), and Native Americans.

In fact concerning the dispersion of West Africans into the Americas, I came across an interesting site that will be a part of my month of Positive Solutions. The site is that of Fihankra International, and I really applaud them on the work they are doing to help return various African Americans to their native homelands.



Specifically, this comes into play for the video on Strengthening the Black Man through Nationalism which I am currently working to finish this week. More on that next month.

To the Point

So now to what really caused me to write those post. Yesterday, I went into the office to find myself caught in some of what we call in Hebrew "Balagan" i.e. a mess. Being the Israeli I had to make it known that this particular mess always happens. When I become Israeli me, people many times back up and back off, because very few people have ever seen me angry. Those who have are often shocked because it can look like this.



Yet, I am not one of those people to get angry and remain angry. Once I let loose I can go back to being normal Israeli Ehav Ever. So yesterday, was a bit of a balagan, but I don't let those things get to me.

The only problem was that my normal ride back to Jerusalem wasn't at work yesterday. So I decided to wait for the 433 bus. Now for those of you who know Israel I work near Qibbutz Gezer, which near a lot of ancient Israeli history. So I waited and waited and waited for the bus. It didn't really matter to me when it came, since my new libearation from having a car makes me feel good in accepting a ride whenever it comes.

Gezer Platform

A young man came to the bus stop where I waited and was trying to flag down a ride (hitchhiking in Israel is a big thing). I asked him if he knew when the next bus was coming, but he didn't know. He said that he had a friend that was coming to pick him up and if she was going to Jerusalem he would ask if she could give me a ride. She arrived and agreed to give me a ride to the entrance of Jerusalem at Givat Shaul. She dropped off the guy and I remained in the back seat as she flew, and I mean flew, through the hills leading up to Jerusalem. The night sky and air was so wonderful to me, and I felt a certain sense of freedom that I haven't had in years. I was a passenger, and I could sit back and enjoy the trip. For years I have had cars, and I had forgetten how liberating it is to not have to worry about those things, but to simply accept life as it comes at you.
Ariel view of Givat Shaul

She dropped me off at the edge of Givat Shaul and I walked from there home to Rechavya, which I would have to imagine is about 4 or 5 km. I love the freedom of walking so much that I pretty much refuse to take buses and cabs, unless I am in a big hurry, but now a days I am not. I love the feel of the night air across my face, the feel of the Jeusalem streets and sidewalks under my boots. I love the feel of the night and the lights across the hils. I have so much to be grateful for that Hashem gave me the opportunity to return to my real home.


So that is my little slice of life here. Through all the thigns that happen to me, I love it all. The Chronicles of Ehav Ever will continue.
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Sunday, September 20, 2009

You Have to Love It

I found a long time that I was definately doing something right when the haters come out of the woodwork. I actually love it when I get hate mail, just because it makes know that I am going in the right direction when people feel that they need to contend with me. It is an interesting state of affairs, and I enjoy some of the creative hate mail I get. I sometimes wonder if people take classes in this stuff, because they all seem to follow the same script. Yet, to all the haters keep it coming. It gives me more to write about, and the videos. I can't forget the videos. Many of the videos I have been able to do are the result of hate mail. Something about getting hate mail gives me energy to work with, and I always feel more enthusiastic to do more.

I dedicate this to the haters, in the most adult fashion I know how.



Rosh Hashanna

So Rosh Hashanna just ended here in Israel, and I have to say that there is nothing like experiencing it in Jerusalem. I loved the feeling of walking through history and the things I studied today really opened up my eyes to a number of things. Many of these things are personal, and I wouldn't write about them but I am so glad to be who I am, where I am. There is one thing I will say. I once read the words of a rabbi that I have become friends with. He once wrote that there is nothing like studying Torah in Hebrew in the land of Israel, and everyday I see how correct he was in writing that. Life is a great thing for me, and I enjoy every moment of it. I always love the feeling I have coming off of Rosh Hashannah into Yom Kippur because there are so many possibilities in my life, and I love to write about all of them. Hashem has given me so much to grateful for, and I enjoy every bit of it and thus that is why I blog and VLOG.

I write about the good and the bad because it is important to record the stories of my life. There is a lot that can be told about a man from the good and the bad and how he deals with them. I am a unique person, yet we are all unique, but I am the only person like myself that I know of blogging in the way that I do. This may be one of the reason that I get heat from various weirdos, but that has been true throughout my life. That is another thing that is funny. I don't get normal haters, I get ones who come off the wall with some truely comical stuff. I sometimes just sit back and laugh at them, because I have to give them credit for their strange egos.

I guess it is like the old story goes.......




Haters beware, because no matter what you say or do, you don't want a peice of me.


If you do, I am right here in Jerusalem, Israel and The Chronciles will continue....so there. ha ha!

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Month of Positive Solutions Update and More

Well, the last few weeks have been something else. I started working from home last week, and it has been a liberating feeling being able to be more open with my time to get some personal things done.

A Month of Positive Solutions Update

So I now have two videos ready for October, and the Month of Positive Solutions that I proposed. So far it looks like I am going solo on this project and maybe that is how it should be. The two videos I have ready are about Defending the Honor of Black Women. There is a main video and a commentary. I will begin posting the videos on October 1st, and continue through to the end of October.

I started working on the video about Uplifiting the Black Man through Nationalism, and I think that video will really be something else. In all of these videos I am not presenting ideas that have never been heard before, but I want to put them out there in a way so that people can stop making excuses on why they are doing the work and taking the action.

As I mentioned before, at this point in my life I am strictly action orientated, and I don't have time for talk about a problem. There is only so much time in any person's life, and I want to leave behind a legacy of action so that even if I can't accomplish a certain thing, someone in the younger generation can take my solutions and run with them.

The last two videos will be somewhat of my magnum opis in dealing with Erasing Racism from Jewish Communities and also How to Establish Peace in the Middle East. These two topics will be contraversial, and will be my greatest work in life (I think).

Concerning YouTube

I have been getting more people wanting to argue with me, and some people who simply want to discuss issues. I have even begun to respond to some in Arabic like here. Something lately has made me feel like I have to step up my game in everything. Time is a critical thing in any person's life, and I have let so much of it pass me by like the wind on a spring day. Not anymore, and I will live my life to fullest, and part of that means standing up for something. I have a number of causes that are important in my life and those things need to attention so I will give them their proper due, and let the reality that I live in wash over me like water pouring from a cup.

Concerning FaceBook

So I am back on FaceBook, although I somewhat don't want to be. In 2007 I left FaceBook because they began taking off Maale Adummim as Israel. Living in Maale Adummim at the time I refused to be a part of such a site. So I left, and it was for the best sicne I didn't really use FaceBook to the level that some people use it. I am more of a blogger and YouTube kind of guy. I get board with the social networking sites sometimes since they can get in the way of really living my life.

Yet, my martial arts teacher the Aluf Abir, and a few others kept pressing me to get on so I did. I have been told that people can't find me on FaceBook. I did a search on my name and I found myself, so I am not sure why people can't find me. You should be able to type in Ehav Ever, and find me. I would guess that it should be that easy.



Shanna Tovah

In any case tonight begins Yom Teruah/Rosh Hashanna a time for the people Yisrael and the Benei Noach to draw closer to Hashem, blessed is HE, the creator of all things. It is a time to draw nearer to the reality that we all should be living under.



(Translation of the Arabic title - A little of the Jews of Israel)

May we all come out on the other side of things with much happiness and joy. So to all may you all be written in the book of Life and the book of Remembrance.



The Chronicles will continue.
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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Abir - Qesheth Hebrew Warrior Arts (אביר)

The below video is my latest one on the Abir - Qesheth Hebrew Warrior Arts. It is a Jewish fighting technique that I have mentioned on this blog before. When I get a chance I will place a translation of the Hebrew text.



Previous posts on Abir can be found at the below links.

Training in Abir

So What's Nu?

The Way of the Israeli Warrior
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Episode 28: The Truth About Zionism

Pretty much self explanatory.


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Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Complexity of HER – The Finale

So this is the final chapter about HER. If you haven’t read part 1 and part 2, you DEFINITELY need to read those posts first in order to understand this post.



The Last Date

Sometime after the second date, I called HER and schedule for another time to go out. It was about two weeks and counting until she was set to return to South Africa, and I could feel like we were heading to a critical time in our situation. Neither of us wanted to be 100% direct, but that was okay for that moment.

So when I called HER concerning our next date I had something special planned in my dating bag of tricks. I called HER with this requirement for our date. Each of us had to come up with 3 questions that the other person had to answer. This was one of the classic getting to know you games that I learned from a comic I once read. It is one of those games that, with the right person, can last all night long.

The Outing

So met at a pastry and coffee shop near Yaffo street in Jerusalem on a Thursday night. I arrived after her, and saw here sitting at one of the corner seats. We exchanged our greetings and proceeded with the small talk and from there we went into our 3 questions. As the time went by we learned even more about each other and neither of us wanted the time to end. I remember how cute she was, especially when a certain song by the 1980’s group the Police came on. It was her favorite from the group and she kept doing this cute little back and bouncy dance as she sang the words to the song. I kept thinking to myself how much I would love to see her like this for the rest of my life.

We sat there exchanging our joys, our ups, our downs, and victories in life over pastry tee and wine. Since I was paying she asked if it was okay if she had wine, of which she had 3 glasses. Yet, she said that it may not be a good thing since she may end up doing something she would regret. The time came when the waiter informed us that it was midnight and they were closing. As we left I told her I would drive her home to Katemon. As we walked to my car the wine kicked in and I took her arm under mine and told her that I was there for her. I noticed that the emotion on her faced changed to partial comfort and partial concern.

When we finally arrived at my car we began to talk about destiny. She implied that it was not fair that she was leaving when she finally met someone who was so much like her. I tried to comfort her by telling her that it was okay, and that we have to play the cards we are dealt. I wanted to say anything that would make her feel better, even I didn’t really buy into myself. I remember the look of regret on her face as I try to simplify the situation by making it seem if our destinies are not in our own hands. Much of what we were experiencing seemed so much some of drama based movie.

I don’t think she believed that I really felt the way I tried to act, but regardless she offered me to come to her place for tea, and I agreed partially because I just didn’t want to let go those moments with her. Internally, I was still holding out hope that she would give up this plan on leaving Israel and returning to South Africa. I felt that I had so much more to offer her here in Israel, than she would ever find in South Africa. Yet, if her heart was there and not here I could not stand in the way of that.

The Regret

So we went to her place for tea, and the reality began to set in that we felt something for each other, but that there was no way it could ever work. During the conversations she let on that she once believed that she was meant to be alone. I also had similar ideas about myself, and I began wonder why would could have so much in common, yet be on the verge of never having the opportunity to be together.

I held her hand at one point, and she told me that she was nervous about this and that she had something that she needed to talk to me about. She said that she had to talked to her mother and HER girlfriends about the entire situation with me and that she felt bad because it was like she led me on knowing I was looking for some serious that would lead to marriage, yet she was leaving. She said that she almost didn’t accept the setup in the first place because of this, and now she felt like she had led me on.

She said to me, your holding my hand don’t you see me shaking? I said to her, you can’t blame yourself I continued to want to be with you even though I knew you were leaving. I am the master of my emotions and I am the only one who can hurt me. I can choose to be hurt or I can choose to take actions to prevent myself from being hurt. So you don’t have to worry about hurting. I like you, a lot, but I know that we just were meant to be. It is what is. She asked me, do you say that a lot, it is what is? I said, yes I do say that a lot. She said, so do I.

I assured her by telling her that all of my life I wondered and prayed if there was someone like myself somewhere in the world. Many nights I would look into the night sky and wonder if the woman who was like me was looking into the same sky nearby or on the other side of the world. Now that I know that she does exist, I can live the rest of my life in peace simply knowing that she exists. I told HER that I know that she was that woman, and even though we could never be together I was happy to finally met her and that would be enough to carry me for the rest of my life. I predicted for her that one day she would meet a man who was the right man for that moment. She asked, well what about you? I said, I am not good with people. I only know how to fade away and become a ghost. More than likely I will walk the desert alone because that is my destiny. Yet, don’t worry about me, because that is my lot in life.

Somewhere at 4:00 in the morning it was time for me to leave. Before I left, she hugged me and whispered, we have gone from holding hands to hugging already. The way she said it was as if it were not exactly a good thing. As I walked down her hallway I turned several times to smile and wave her goodbye.

The Hard Solution

When I got home, I made a straight forward decision that I could not have any more contact with her. I could not bear the burden of losing her after developing more feelings about her, and I could not allow HER to feel the situation was her fault. I was the one who initiated the entire thing when I asked for the setup. I allowed myself to jump in, in order to not be left out, and I put her in this situation.

So I did what I know how to do best; I disappeared. I erased HER phone number from my phone, and I threw away HER contact information inSouth Africa. I did this before I memorized any of the information. It was better to hurt her for the right reasons, than to hurt her later for the wrong reasons. That was my logic, and it wasn’t easy to live up to, but that is one of the things about being a man. There are times when we have to take the road less traveled and walk down the painful path; at least that’s what I told myself.

I didn’t hear from after the last date. Maybe she did the same for the same reasons. Who knows? How could something so right be so wrong? Maybe it simply is what it is.

My Message to HER

Just in case she (HER) were to ever read this post, this is my message to HER. I am sorry that I disappeared on you the way that I did. I was afraid, the same way I sense you were, that the more I got to know you the more I would hate that I couldn’t get close to you. I did what I did because I didn’t want you to feel that this was your fault. I knew from the start what I was getting into, and I don’t regret meeting you. I just didn’t want you to think that you had led me on. Every moment I was with you, I enjoyed and longed for more, simply because of who you were.

For so many years, I forced myself to believe that someone like you didn’t exist and that I was made to be alone in this world. People had always told me the old Hebrew and Arabic sayings that Hashem (G-d) created each person who could potentially be married by splitting up one soul and that it was up to the two souls to find each other. That each person who could be together had the name of their intended on their foreheads and only Hashem (G-d) could see it, and that they could only sense when they met. After meeting you I realize that all of these have truth to them. We just didn’t meet at the right time, and as we both said, it is what it is.

It was wrong for me to put you in a position that you would feel bad about. Yet, I just wanted so much to be near you. Every moment of those three dates were like pure gold, or refined platinum; so priceless; so precious and worth more than I can put into words. Each time I was with you, I wanted more, but I knew that this was wrong for me to place my hopes and dreams at your door step. While I apologize, I also want to thank you for making me believe that all those things I prayed about in my youth could come true. This is why I didn’t call you after that last date, because I feared what I would feel when you went back to South Africa. I thought that if I played the role of the bad guy you could move on easier. Whether I made the right decision or not will never be known to me, but I do miss you and sometimes I consider that maybe it would have been good to see you one more time.

In the future don’t be afraid of being the apple of some man’s eye. You are a special woman, and you don’t have to be afraid of being happy. You have just as much right to happiness as does anyone willing to take hold of it. My hope is that you will find the man of your dreams one day and he will be able to show you how beautiful you are. If you do that I will feel happy in my own heart for you, and though it is not with me I can live with that. Do me a favor and every once and a while think good thoughts of me, the way I think good thoughts about you.



Outro

So now that all of this has been put out in the open, the following can be stated as truth. I met her on a cool Jerusalem morning for breakfast, and I wasn’t expecting much from the setup. Little did I know that what I would find that day was someone so much like myself. At that time I felt like she was the one I had been searching for all of my life. She was from South Africa and though we came from two different worlds we had so much in common, and I thought that somehow I could convince HER to stay with me here in Israel. Yet, we both knew deep down in our hearts that this was not possible. In order for her not to blame herself I had to do the right thing and walk away, making me the bad guy. This is the story of what happens when you have to let go of a good thing.

Through the good, the bad, the difficult, and the victories in life.........These are the Chronicles of Ehav Ever

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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Complexity of HER – Part 2

Sorry it took a little while to get part 2 out, but I wanted to get some videos out on YouTube. If you are new to my written blog, or you have not yet viewed part 1 of this story I suggest that you go back and read Part 1 before you read this post. So now that you are up to speed, back to the story. The below song goes well with this post about HER.



The Day the Earth Stood Still

So everything was going well with this date, and I couldn’t believe it and just as my guard was going down, she said something that changed everything. She said, “There is one thing that you have to know. I am going to be leaving Israel and going back to South Africa in 4 weeks. I have been here for four years and I came kind of on a whim and I feel like it is time for me to go back home."

I was somewhat floored by this, and there was only one word in the English lexicon that fully expresses what went through my mind. What was that word you ask? DAWWWWWWWWWWMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Why does this have to happen now? She could be the one, and now she is leaving. Why does my life have to always lead to these complex issues?

How could this be, the perfect woman is sitting right in front of me and she is leaving in 4 weeks. She has been in Israel for four years and all this time I never met her, and now she is leaving? What kind of cruel joke is this? I began to wonder why I even believed from the start that this could possibly go somewhere. My fatalist nature took over and I began to have all kinds of thoughts about the situation. I almost felt like paying for both our meals, packing it up, and going back home right then and there. Yet, something about HER made me simply say, you know according to Halakhah (Jewish religious law) once you have moved to Israel you are not supposed to leave. That is according to the Rambam (Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon). I said it in a joking manner, even though I was being quite serious.

Somehow the conversation got back to martial arts and after our breakfast date we went to the park and I showed her a few moves. It was so interesting that she knew some moves herself, and she was intense. She was also very strong and cunning when it came to martial arts. All I could think was, be still my heart. (Writer’s note: I have always had a thing for tough women.) As the time drew near for both of us to part ways to start preparing for the Shabbat (Sabbath) I offered to take her home, and we agreed to see each other again after Shabbat
.
Why I am Doing This Again?

Our plans for after Shabbat didn’t go through because she forgot that she had agreed to meet with her girlfriends. I was a bit afraid that this was her way of feigning interest, or at least that is what the paranoid part of me said. Yet, we rescheduled and went out another night and again the déjà vu element kept coming up again and again. I wanted to sit there all night and learn about her for she was a mysterious type.The big issue here is why I am going through this again?

Yet, my thoughts kept going back to the fact that she would be leaving. I considered that maybe I could somehow convince her to stay in true movie fashion. Perhaps if I kept up the pressure she would cave and give up this foolish move back to South Africa. What I wanted to know was what was the draw to return to a place like South Africa? As much as I wanted to answer her this vital question I never did. Maybe the better question was, why am I still seeing her? She had made her decision to go back to South Africa. Why continue down a path that was going to lead to one or both of being hurt?

I have complete control over my emotions, or so I thought. I can always make sure to keep my guard up and simply let the lead to its logical conclusion. Yet, what point would that serve, to simply keeping her, start caring for, only to lose her. Then I would be left with the what ifs of life, with the memories of how close I was to bliss.

The Slow Waltz

After the date I walked her home, and I found it so hard to part company with her. Every time we said goodbye some new conversation would start, and even though the Jerusalem night was chilly her presence was warming to me. I found myself hoping that the night would last longer, and that maybe I should just call in sick.

I wanted to try to get her to see that she didn't need to go back to South Africa. I could help her find whatever it was that was missing. I could be the one that could help her find her place in this Topsy Turvy world call the Middle East. Together we could do wonders, and I know in my heart she also saw the possibilities. Yet I felt like there was something she was running away from. There was somthing that she was afraid of. If only I knew what it was, but alas she was not willing to tell me.

I finally left on a high note making her laugh with my advances as to how “pleasing to the eyes and the soul” she was, after which I ran down the street rejoicing that I had made her smile. She was the jewel that lit up the night sky and as I drove home to Maale Adummim I saw the moon and the stars in a new way. Yet, she was leaving in about 3 more weeks, and I could not escape the hurt that was coming soon on the horizon. My logical senses were telling me that this wouldn't end well at all.

Part 3 the finale.




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Friday, September 4, 2009

The Complexity of HER – Part 1

I have been holding off on doing some writing, choosing instead to do the videos, but I need to write about something. Better yet, not something, someone. To protect the innocent I will refer to his person as HER. Listening to the following song made me think of HER. Play it as you read this post, and you will understand why.



Introduction

I met HER on a cool Jerusalem morning for breakfast, and I wasn’t expecting much from this setup. Little did I know that what I would find that day was someone so much like myself. At that time I felt like she the one I had been searching for all of my life. She was from South Africa and though we came from two different worlds we had so much in common, and I thought that somehow I could convince HER to stay with me here in Israel. Yet, we both knew deep down in our hearts that this was not possible. In order for HER not to blame herself I had to do the right thing and walk away, making me the bad guy. This is the story of what happens when you have to let go of a good thing.

The Story

It all began one day on Shabbat (Sabbath) in Maale Adummim when I had been invited by a family to have lunch with them. There were two other single men, like myself, that had been invited and whenever we all got together things were lively and laughs were had by all. Somehow the topic of transitioning from the single life to the married life came up. The conversation then switched from theory to actually changing the status of the single guys to married guys. Yet, in order to do that we were going need to be set up (Shidduchim). So the youngest of us single guys said he was ready and gave a list of what he wanted. Then the second single guy also said he was tired of being single and he gave what he wanted.

Not to be left out I also said, I was tired of being single and I also wanted to be setup. The wife of the house, immediately stated that she could not help me because I was not ready. You see, a few months earlier I spurned the idea of being setup since I had been setup with the wrong kind of women in the past. So the wife of the house stated that because of my excuses in the past I was not serious nor was I ready. I quickly rebuffed that I was now ready, and serious so I gave my list. She asked dark or light. I said dark. She asked size preference, and I answered athletic. She asked observance to Judaism level. I answered normal, not so far on either side of the issue. She then agreed to go to work to set us all up.

The Issues

Anyone who has read this blog and watched the videos I did about the Mystery of Women knows that I had some serious issues in my life regarding trust. They would also know that I have issues with understanding the female species. So I carry my load, like we all do, and I have attempted for a number of years to master myself and find peace of mind in that regard. Yet, I found myself for a number of years cutting myself off from the possibility of dating simply because I didn't want to unload my issues on anyone. My joys are my joys, and that is personal. My victories are mine to revel in and to keep close like clothing to the skin. My pain is my pain, that I bury deep under layers of protected guilt and regret. My sense of reality is something I sometimes guard since I know that I take so many things personally.


Love is such a complex thing for me, since it sometimes seems to contradict logic. Why do things that belong to me, such as emotions, becomes the possesion of someone else who can take what is mine and make it her own. She can embrace my inner feelings, and once I expose them, she can walk in triumph as she wears those things that I hold so dear like the most precioius of jewelry. It was all of these issues that most people don't understand, so maybe it was this that made people believe that I was not ready to be setup. Maybe they were right and maybe they were wrong. So complex!

If Wishes Were Fishes We Would Eat Steak

As much as I was ready I wasn’t expecting to hear anything, and so I pretty much forgot about the whole thing. Then one day I turned my phone off for a time to take care of something, and when I turned it back on I had a message from the wife of the house. The message stated that she had found someone for me to go out with, and to call her back. Wow, that was a surprise, but more than likely this will be another mismatch like all the other setups, I thought to myself. So I called the wife of the house and she said that she found a woman that would meet with me. I asked her a few questions about who this woman was. She told me that she was of African descent, and had a very interesting story since she was adopted by an Ashkenazi Jewish family at the height of Apartheid in South Africa. If I agreed she would get the woman’s number and I could call her. I agreed, even though, I didn’t think much was going to happen.

The First Date with HER

I got the number and I called HER and we agreed to meet at Coffee Joe’s near the Inbal Hotel in Jerusalem, not far from Talpiyot. We met on a Friday morning and when I saw her sitting there waiting for me I thought that she was cute, but again I didn’t think much of the situation. As we began to talk about various things it became apparent that I was going through a series of déjà vu’s. First of all, I mentioned something about how I used to read comic books. She then stated that she used to read comic books. I mentioned that Wolverine was one of my favorites, and she said that Wolverine was her favorite. I talked about how I train in martial arts and that a lot of people don’t understand me, and then she responded that she trained in martial arts for a number of years. I even told her, that I was experiencing some major deju vu with her. She intially didn't respond to this, except to laugh, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was feeling the same.

Could it be that I had finally found THE ONE? Could she be the one that I had hoped existed somewhere, but over time I had given up on? That is a woman that is so similar to myself, whom I had prayed so many years to meet, yet as the years passed I stopped believing in. Is it possible that everything in the past did not work out simply to prepare me for this moment to meet HER? So many thoughts went through my head as we sat there and talked for about 2.5 hours with time seemingly going by so slow. Every joke was met with a genuine laugh, things that were normally secret became revealed with a simply manner of easy banter. Could it be that all of those lonely nights where I would look at the moon and the stars wondering if Hashem (G-d) had created me in singularity she was on the other side of the world wondering the same? So many questions I wanted to ask so many things I wanted to say. Yet, this was the first date and was it even right to contemplate such things?

It was then though that she sprung something on me that would change the course of EVERYTHING.

Read Part 2 HERE.









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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Chronicles of EE, A Documentary In Progress

So as you all may remember I am working on a documentary that I hope to enter into the Mixed Roots Film Festiaval. It will be somewhat of a redux of this blog and my video blogs, specifically dealing with what led me to move to Israel and what keeps me here. It will be my magnum opus, about my life and will hopefully do some justice for people who are my position.

The Position

What positioin is that you ask? Well, as you may have read on the side of this blog I come from a mixed background. Yet, as you may read in a number of posts about my past that I grew up in a number of different environments and only recently decided that I was going to live my life based on all of the element of what it took to make me. Of course, my decision was that Yahaduth (Judaism) would be the center jewel and everything else would surround that.

That last statement is important, because from time time I get comments on my YouTube page from people who try to claim I am deny my "blackness." In reality I can't deny something I don't use to define myself. The family that I had that was from Africa were specifically from three regions that are modernly known as Senegal, Mali, and Mauritania. They were eventually mixed with Jews who made their way into the region from Yemen and North Africa. So accept all of this, but I am very specific about what I accept. I accept ONLY what my family once accepted for ourselves before America, and it would seem to me that I am being very clear about the fact that I have West African ancestry from SPECIFIC locations. I know what this means for me and my own personality, better than anyone else. It also no secret that I go by the Yemenite and the Senegali sides of my ancestry, that is me and that is how I define myself.





If someone else feels that this falls into their definition of black, then so be it, but for me the black and white dichotomy is meaningless and an American based phenomena so I pretty much ignore. Of course there are those who have labeled me a sellout because of that, but so what I could care less how anyone else wants to define me. I am the master of my own ship, and I have had people talk down of me no matter what path I chose. Yet, that is another story.

Get Back to the Documentary

So the title of this post is about the documentary I am working on. It is progressing nicely, and starting next week I will be walking around to places in Jerusalem to film the segments of myself. I have already done 3 interviews of fellow Israels, some of whom are of mixed descent and I have a few more that I will look into adding. I have also started working on some segments to fill between the discussions about myself and the world I live in here in Israel. I have even gotten some interest at my job from people who didn't I know I was doing films on YouTube.

What this means though is that I will have to look into stepping up my game a bit. Last week my room mate hosted a friend of his who is a film maker from South Africa. He put me onto a film software from Adobe that has some real power behind it. So now I need to start working on learning it, something I sometimes I hate. I really need though because I want to have some map animations for the film and for future YouTube videos. I also may need to buy a better camera to do some of the filming. The small digital camera I have works wonders, but maybe I also need something more high end to really capture Israel in its real beauty.


I need to focus all my energies on this one since I want people to understand that often what they get from Western media about the Middle East is not very accurate. I also know that there aren't many people with my experience and my Israeli reality. Not to brag, but I have finally come to terms that my experience is unique and I can't bottle that up any longer. Sometimes this is hard to put into words, because my life here in Israel is just something that I live and I often find it hard to really give something that seems so regular to me. It is like taking pictures of a place where you live. Sometimes you are so accustomed to your own world that you don't see what may be different about it when compared to the rest of the world.

So good people I will do my best to write about this process as it progresses. Until then the Chronicles of Ehav Ever will continue.

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