Friday, May 9, 2008

Dreams: The Labyrinth

It was then that I saw the way out, and the sun shone brightly on my skin. I knew then what it meant to be free from my fears and my struggles. I looked back into the hole and the darkness from which I left. I remembered the pain, the agony, and despair. How did I come to make this journey?

It was then that I woke up, right where I had fallen asleep. How did it all come to this? I couldn't remember the whole story until 2 days time had passed.

The Prologue


I don't remember when exactly it was that I fell asleep, but it must have happened quickly. In this dream I was in a place, which I did not recognize. I was alone, and I was without good bearings on my direction.


I started my journey into the darkness and for a moment I felt weak and faint of heart. It was a looming darkness, an overpowering darkness, and a humbling darkness. You see, as a child I feared that dark room in the basement, in our house on 73rd and Norton. I would leave that room with one foot on the upper most stair and the other in the direction upward. I would calmly place my hand on the light and begin to move it to the off position and run once the lights were out. So to be in this place again was a bit frightening to me.


I moved myself against the walls; slowly trying my best to adjust to what seemed to be light. Maybe it was wasn't light, but instead my minds interpretation of the darkness. Maybe all kinds of horrors were passing before, but I did not know it.


I tried to keep my thoughts positive. Maybe around the next corner I would find the way out of this maze and I would be free to rejoin the world that I had left behind. Or had it been that the world had left me behind? How did I come to be in this dark and dank place? A place where even those things that go bump in the night would not dare travel. Sometimes it is not the fear of the unexpected that shakes a man like me to his core. Sometimes it is looking into the nothingness and finding more nothingness.

Despair

What if I never find my way out? What if this path that I am currently on only leads deeper and deeper? What if I continue on for the rest of my life in a place where there is no sun or moon? No stars even, to give me direction in the night. Regardless of the situation I have to pull it together. Continuing on without hope.

I am not afraid, I told myself. I am not afraid of what lyes around the next corner. It was with these words that I was plunged deeper into the darkness that lye ahead. My only hope of finding my way out was by embracing what I did not know, could not see, and rely solely on what I could feel and hear.


The Way Out

Maybe this was the key. My sense of touch and hearing had never failed me before. In this world where my eyes were no longer reliable, maybe all I needed to do was trust and act upon those senses that were still available. It was then that I closed my eyes and began to feel my way through the tunnels.

As I moved in one direction or another, my mind began to take me back to a familiar place. It took me back to her. The voice of a certain woman of beauty I had known in the past. It took me back to her gentle voice and her elegant ways. This way Ehav, she said. Follow me, she motioned. I was not sure at first, but she had always proven trustworthy before, right? Yet, how would she know the way out? She said to me:

Ehav! I know that trust has always been a problem for you. There have been many who have let you down, and left you stranded. I am not asking you to trust me, but follow you heart. You must find your way out of this place so you can truly wake up. I am waiting for you on the other side. All you have to do is find it, and you will find me. I am the other half of you that was split from your soul. I am waiting for you on the other side, but you have to find your way out. Follow my voice and follow you heart.
It is with that I undertook the journey following my heart, her voice, and my remaining senses. Maybe, it was her words that gave me strength or maybe it was the idea of seeing her again. In any case I pushed forward.

As I proceeded forward I felt warmth on my face, and moisture under my fingertips. With my closed eyes I saw light peeking between my eyelids and I opened my eyes. Suddenly, I saw the way out, and the sun shone brightly on my skin. I knew then what it meant to be free from my fears and my struggles. The sun shone so brightly on the ocean, and I looked back into the hole and the darkness from which I left.


I remembered the pain, the agony, and despair. When I turned that is when I saw her waiting for me with open arms. She said come to me my love, you have done well. I hesitated and I asked her. How did I come to make this journey? She said I will answer your questions my love and give you rest, but first you must wake up and find me. Where will I find you? How will I find you I asked.

It was then that I woke up, right where I had fallen asleep. How did it all come to this?

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