Saturday, December 22, 2007

Be A Man: Becoming The Man

In order to beat the man, you’ve got to be the man.
The Nature Boy Rick Flair (Pro Wrestler)

When I was a kid I loved reading comic books. I loved the idea of people with special powers putting everything on the line to defend the weak. I reveled in the abilities they had to fly, to lift heavy objects, to shoot beams from their eyes, and to essentially transcend the human reality that I lived in.

Ehav Ever at 10 Years Old

Lets face it, fantasy, for a kid, is an easy place to deal with. It doesn’t require much. All you need is your imagination and some free time. It becomes even more fulfilling when your waking reality is that you are weak. It becomes more dramatic when you fall asleep and dream of worlds where you are powerful, but it becomes sad when you wake up to the real world where you are powerless.

What if you could zap that bully who harasses you with your heat vision? What if you could move at the speed of sound and score all the points in your local sports outing? What if you could transform yourself from a child to a man of power? If such things were possible, what kind of blueprint would you use to build yourself into a man? What if indeed?

In my dreams I often had super powers. The only problem was that I often had problems trying to use them. In my dreams where I could fly I often was working hard to fly straight while being blown by the wind backwards. In one dream I gained the ability to fly, but I kept crashing into buildings, trees, and fences. In dreams where I had the ability to shoot energy beams at my enemies my powers would give out when I was in the midst of battle. In dreams where I had super strength my enemies would often overpower me. Why do my dreams betray me? Why can’t my sleeping world be my desired reality and my waking world the dream?

Over time, as I grew older my dreams increased and became more vivid. Yet, I never lost sight of my imagination. One of the reasons is because for so many years I was never in the place where I needed to be, even though sometimes I thought I was who I wanted to be. While I was searching the world for my place, all the while ignoring that the doorway to it was always there, I found that in my imagination I would always travel back to my past to recreate the child that I was thus recreating the life that I currently had. This for so long was my only release or freedom in a life of difficulties.

When times were hard I could imagine a world where I was dominant and where I was the hero. I could imagine myself not making the mistakes that I had made in the past. I could imagine myself going right instead of left, back instead of forward, or up instead of down. Instead of the failure that I awoke to I could sit in contemplation over things going right instead of so wrong. I could be the man.

Yet, over time as you pass from childhood to your teens, from your teens to your 20’s, and your 20’s to your 30’s even your imagination can betray you. What happens when your imagination is not enough to make you happy? What happens when loneliness and solitude become a prison, and your imagination has run away with the key? What happens when you neglect your life in order to sit in the darkness of your most private room to imagine yourself as the man you could have been? What happens when you waste away your life with made up memories to replace the reality that you are not a man, but a boy hiding in a man’s body?

Ehav in deep contemplation on his manhood

It is with this kind of realization that at some point you have to stand up, and put yourself in check. You have to defeat your best friend procrastination and his buddy hopelessness you must cast aside. At some point you have to take the dreams of the man you wished you had become and make as many of them as real as you can in your current life. The past is the past, and sometimes you have to come to that realization. You can only control the present and what remains of the future.

The man you could have been is all in your mind. He is not real, and on some level wishful thinking is fine. Yet, you can’t let the man you can currently become slip by. Sure you can’t fly, you don’t have super strength, and life has many difficult realities. Yet, the best super hero stories are the ones of ordinary men who overcome the fear of who they are not in order to stand for something.

Look within yourself. See that you are someone to be valued. You may be alone, but that is no excuse to run away from your responsibility. You may feel like the last man on earth, but you are not. You may feel like no one understands your struggle, but there are other men who struggle with their progression into life. At some point you have to look into the mirror and be proud of whom you are and where you are.

Life isn’t always fair. If this were a comic book your struggles would be the same. Yet, this is not a comic. This is real life, and in order to be the man you must beat the man. You are the man that you are, and you can become even more of that man. So dust yourself off, and get back out there soldier. You are the man! You are the man! You are the maaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!


Rafi G said...

I like the pic of you as a kid

Ehav Ever said...

Hey Rafi,

Thanks for checking out my blog. Yeah, that photo never would have been seen a few years ago. I have loosened up a bit about it since then.

Lisa said...

I'm not a man, but I still had super hero dreams!! in my dreams, I had powers like "Jeanie" - yeah, Major Nelson's, "I Dream of Jeanie" - blinking, arm folding Jeanie!

Have a good one!

Miriam said...

Ehav -that kid picture is just the cuuuuutest!!!!

Ehav Ever said...

Lisa - That is an interesting hero to dream to be.

Miriam - I used to hide that picture like it was national state secret. I have loosened up quite a bit lately in my old age. lol