Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Short and Funny Mistakes

Whip It

Once I got in trouble for bringing a whip to school. I was a big Indiana Jones fan and when I visited Texas one summer I was able to buy myself a whip. So one day I decided to live my life just like Indiana Jones by taking my whip to school with me. During that time my mother would drop me off at a local community center and they in turn would drop me off at school. They would then at the end of the day pick me up and take me back to the community center. In the summers we would stay there during the day. So at the community center when were playing I decided to pull out my whip and show it off.

I began to whip it like John Ballushi at the end of the song. Of course a counselor grabbed me and took me to the main office. They called my stepfather who was a recruiter for the Marines at the time (He was a Gunny Sargent). I remember him having to come and get me and the whip while he was in uniform. I don't remember much after that.

Wrong Call Wrong Time
I once dated a girl in high school who lived in Kansas City, Kansas and I lived in Raytown, Missouri. For those who don't know Kansas City exists in Missouri and Kansas. Half of the city, the good part, is in Missouri and the other part is in Kansas. They are separated by a street called State Line. One night she told me call her back at 3:00 a.m. I asked her if that would be problem, she said no. So I called her back at 3:00 A.M. and her father answered the phone. Before I could say a word he asked, "Have you lost your %$& mind?" With a trembling voice I said, "No sir, I don't think so." He said, "Don't you ever call this number again at this time you understand me?" I tried to say, "Yes sir. I'm sorry sir," but he hung up on me before I could. The girl had gone to sleep at 1:00 A.M.

You are Tripping, Literally
When I lived in Manhattan I liked to walk to places I needed to go to in order to get exercise and also because walking helped me think. I often saw myself as different from everyone else and I walked like it. Once I was walking on a sidewalk, where most of the people were walking in the opposite direction. I noticed a square piece of foam on the ground, and with my right foot I stepped over it. Yet, when I moved my left foot to go over it somehow it got caught on the foam in a way to where the foam stuck to the sidewalk. This in turn caused me to fall forward. Out of instinct my hands went out to try and grab onto something to gain my balance. The only thing that was near by was one of the people going in the other direction. As I fell, in what seemed like slow motion my hands went out to a guy going the other direction. He saw me reaching and falling and he kindly moved out of the way of my hands.

I fell on the ground, but I was able to prevent myself from falling on my face. In true New York fashion people looked at me like I was strange for falling and in true New York fashion I got up and kept walking as if nothing had happened.

Your Sarcastic Mouth
This one took place while I was in high school. I was walking around Bannister Mall, a now defunct mall in Kansas City, MO with a friend. It was a two floor mall with the 2nd floor being open so that people could see each other and speak to each other on from one floor to the other. As we were walking I saw a girl that I knew from a youth organization I was involved in. She went to one of the local Catholic schools, and in Kansas City girls who went to Catholic had a reputation of sorts, if you know what I mean. I saw her and a friend of hers walking around the mall wearing what I can only sum up as some kind of spandex cat suit. It was overly tight and extremely revealing.

So me the sarcastic person I was back then, I started talking load about it. I know I said something like. "Hey what are you wearing. Leave some of that to yourself. Does your mother know you are walking around the mall dressed like that?" I always made quips at her so she just turned and walked away. I was going to turn and walk away myself until I heard a voice from above yell out, "Young man! Young man!" My friend and I looked around trying to figure where this voice was coming from. The voice then said, "Up here!" We looked up to see a woman looking down at us. She then angrily yelled. "Young man. Do you think it was right for you to say what you said to my daughter?" This situation had caught me off guard so I didn't have my normal type of sarcastic answer. I responded, "Uhh. Maybe not." She then replied with, "So don't you think you owe me and my daughter an apology?" I said, "I don't know. Maybe. I'm sorry?" I then looked at my friend and we pretty much walked off. Looking back it was wrong for me to say what I said to the girl, no matter how she was dressed. Yet, it was funny that her mother appeared out of no where.

By the way, this video has nothing to do with the stories above, but I find it funny.

More funny stories to come.‎


Thembi said...

You are so gracefully random, haha!

Ehav Ever said...

Yeah, what a life I live.

Bohemian Hippie Chick said...

"Solomon Grundy want pants too!" LOL!!

Great post Ehav!

nikki said...

so the mom was affronted at you for calling out her daughter but she wasn't affronted when she let her daughter roll into the mall like a hooch? whaaaatever. SHE should have apologized to YOU for letting her daughter out in public looking like that. aiight, let me calm down cuz that kinda pissed me off.

Ehav Ever said...

Hey Nikki,

Yeah, I thought the same thing then, and I will admit I still think it now. I think that some of the parents who came from that, how do I say it, area of thinking may have been in some level of denial about their kids being in a phase. What was interesting was that the girl's mom was kind of a scary person. She had a reputation, amongst the local guys, of being mean and overprotective. Yet, during that time the girls who we knew who went to Catholic school all seemed to have that, but on the side they were doing something different. I am not sure if it was simply a suburbs Kansas City thing, but it seemed like the same story.

It also reminds of a joke they used to have in New York of Catholic school girls vs. religious Jewish school girls. The joke was about how you see Catholic school girls wear dresses that look like tennis skirts hiding nothing, and you see the Jewish school girls wearing dresses down to their shoes or lower showing nothing. It is probably funnier in NY where you have distinct communities.

Ehav Ever said...

Hey BHC,

I just love that little cartoon. Scarecrow...your...your made of straw.

Also, I demand more toys.