Saturday, August 18, 2007

Why Do Men Cheat: Part 3

In Part 1 and Part 2 I explored some of the basics of the topic, as well as some of the common characteristics of cheating men I have found in my walk in life. This is made up of friends or acquaintances of mine who were cheaters in high school and college, as well as a few cheaters I knew who were older. Mind you, these are my views about it and I don't claim to have all the answers on this. My purpose is to give some different ways that the point can be looked at so women can avoid the type of guys I knew to be cheaters.

In the past two articles I was told that I may be mixing perspectives. That is Jewish and African American. What has to be understood is that there is no such things as one set Jewish perspective. There are a lot Jewish perspectives, which is why we have a dearth of opinions about Judaism, life, and culture that dates back more than 2,000 years. As the saying goes, two Jews, three opinions. Also, there are various Jewish cultures. There is the Yemenite Jewish culture, the Spanish Jewish culture, the Moroccan Jewish culture, the German Jewish culture, the Ethiopian Jewish culture, the African American Jewish culture, etc.

Chabbani Jews of Southern Arabia during Passover

North African Jews of Morocco

Hebrew Israelites of Dimona, Israel

There are some major issues, upon which all religious Jews agree, and there are some minor points which most Jews, religious or not agree upon. My perspective on any topic come from the following factors.
  • I am a Sephardic Jew who is a part of the Yemenite Jewish community.
  • I live in Israel.
  • Part of my family was from Spain (Sephardic Jews), part from Senegal, part were French, and a good portion of my immediate family lives in a number of African American communities.
A person who is Jewish takes the whole sum of who they are and uses it to do the will of God in life. That doesn't mean that because I have a mixed ancestry that I have to get rid of one in order to be Jewish. I take my life experiences in all situations and apply my Jewish understanding to each situation. If I live around non-Jews I still have to live as a Jew, but living in that situation gives a certain perspective. If I am around Jews all the time, that also gives you a certain perspective.

Ethiopian Jews in Israel

I also don't believe in such a thing as one African American perspective. I have met a lot of African Americans who have different cultures, religions, and social economic standards. For example, a person who is a Muslim and is African American and speaks Arabic may have a completely different perspective than someone who is Baptist and African American. Their opinions may also be completely different since their beliefs and the people they are around may be different. I even noticed differences between African Americans in the south, and those on the west coast. Even African Americans who pledge fraternities had some differences in the cultures they form and create than people who don't pledge.

Now what this group of articles is about is giving some examples of why I have found that some men cheat. As one commenter mentioned there are a lot of different reasons. I am not however trying answer the question of why certain women can't find a good man. The problem with that is that everyone defines good different. Sometimes people have to think outside of their box to find a good man or woman. I am Jewish, and there are a lot of good non-Jewish woman out there. Yet, I can't marry them because they would have to be Jewish in order for me to guarantee that what ever children we have are raised and live as religious Jews. So in order for me to find a good Jewish woman I would need to surround myself with Yemenite Jews, Moroccan Jews, Ethiopian Jews, African American Jews, Sephardic Jews, Indian Jews, Iranian Jews, Polish Jews, etc. This does not mean that non-Jewish women are not good people, what it means is they are not right for me. The same way I am not right for a non-Jewish woman who doesn't want to live a Jewish lifestyle in the Land of Israel. So I completely understand why good non-Jewish woman were not be interested in me, our lives were going in different directions. When I changed scenes and put myself in a place that was conducive to my culture then the situation changed. Now I have a better chance of finding the right woman for me here in Israel.

I am also not trying to blame women for not finding a good man. I can't speak to everyone's situation. What I can do is tell you about is the mindsets of the guys I knew who were cheaters, and knowing this mindset may help some women stay away from these type of men. This mindset crosses all kind of racial and cultural boundaries. Some elements of what I am talking about may not apply to everyone, and I realize that. There are a number of good women I know who have had no problem finding good men. There are a number of men I know who have never had a problem finding good women. In the next piece I will cover several different issues in terms of what a non-cheating man is like and how SOME of us think.‎

1 comment:

Tr8erGirl said...

interesting as usual! Anxiously awaiting the next part!