Friday, June 29, 2007

Returning to the Land of Israel Part 2

At the moment I am taking a break from packing. I am getting ready to go to Israel permantly in order to live and to work. I have been sensing for some time that my time in New York was coming to a close, and changes that have been taking place around me confirm this feeling. People have asked me am I afraid to go back, and I can say that I don't have any fear. They ask if I am going to Israel to die, because of all the violence they hear about on the news.

When I was a kid my grandmother, Elnora Lyons-Ever of blessed memory, made me believe that I had some grand destiny. She talked me as if I was meant to be something more than what I ever saw for myself. I have felt for some time that Israel is a part of this, and that living there is a part of something that God set in motion before I was born.

The Israel that I have seen in the past is a place that I know will test me. It will cause me to become more than I am. It will force me to live up to the standards of Judaism that I always talk about and not simply live in the shadow of my own rhetoric.

The Judean Desert-View from Massada

I miss the deserts in Israel, and I miss the ocean. When I first went to Israel I remember sitting at the edge of the ocean in Tel Aviv for hours just staring into the distance. It was as if I did not need to think, I did not need to worry or second guess myself. When I sat there I knew exactly who I was. When I traveled through the Judean Desert I saw a glimpse of who I could be, and I felt the need to gather myself. Living in Israel won't be easy, but I am not going back because I believe it will be. I am going back because I believe in something higher than myself. I believe that God is doing something there, and I want to be a part of it.
So in the end I am not going to Israel to die, I am going back to Israel to see if I am really alive.


Lori said...

Ehav E.,
I hope this doesn't mean you will stop blogging? I've learned a lot from your posts. In any case, I wish all of the best. I'm sure your grandmother was right. They always are (smile).

Ehav Ever said...

Thank you for your kind words Lori. I have no plans on stopping the blog. If anything Israel will give me more to write about.